So I met with her.
Turns out, she hadn't been aware that I was the FP for her client's child.
She just became aware of this last week and, since she's been invited to the next case review meeting, she wanted to make sure I was aware that she was working with him and that she was going to be at the meeting.
Makes sense. If I had thought that she might be invited to these meetings, I would have given her a heads-up as well.
She was very compassionate, saying how, if she put herself in my shoes, that this can't be anything but a hard situation. Either way it turns out, she said, someone is going to have some strong feelings.
I don't know if she was trying to tell me something or not, but what that says to me is that the bio-dad feels very strongly about not losing this baby. Which is obvious, given his desire to "try to parent her". It also points strongly to him, if the time comes, choosing surrender over TPR. Which is heartening.
I just hope someone tells him when that time is, because I'm not sure he's able to read the writing on the wall.
And, by way of a happier update, the baby is doing very well. She's working on her crawling, doing well with her OT exercises, and just becoming more babbly, interactive and loving every day.
Turns out, she hadn't been aware that I was the FP for her client's child.
She just became aware of this last week and, since she's been invited to the next case review meeting, she wanted to make sure I was aware that she was working with him and that she was going to be at the meeting.
Makes sense. If I had thought that she might be invited to these meetings, I would have given her a heads-up as well.
She was very compassionate, saying how, if she put herself in my shoes, that this can't be anything but a hard situation. Either way it turns out, she said, someone is going to have some strong feelings.
I don't know if she was trying to tell me something or not, but what that says to me is that the bio-dad feels very strongly about not losing this baby. Which is obvious, given his desire to "try to parent her". It also points strongly to him, if the time comes, choosing surrender over TPR. Which is heartening.
I just hope someone tells him when that time is, because I'm not sure he's able to read the writing on the wall.
And, by way of a happier update, the baby is doing very well. She's working on her crawling, doing well with her OT exercises, and just becoming more babbly, interactive and loving every day.
2 comments:
That has got to have been a tough conversation- I would have wanted to know what she thought about the bio dad- knowing full well she can't disclose a thing- it would drive me crazy knowing that she knows him well and has a real true perspective of him and if he can truly raise niblet if he really tried. Praying for you!!
I can see that, but if it were me I'd probably rather not know any more than we already do. We know he's a bumbling fool, in so-so (or worse?) health, barely able to speak a single coherent sentance or comprehend when he's spoken to, really old, and the father of 13 children he didn't raise. I think he sees this whole thing as a game that he can win. Probably the only time in his life where the system is on his side, and he can get the prize (being granted custody) if he just shows up and plays along.
It seems that everyone and their brother is being invited to this next meeting - the Occupational Therapist, the dad's DV counselor that fostermommy mentioned, and I feel like there was another one we heard of recently... I dunno. It'll be better than the last meeting, when there was just the case-workers, the dad, and us (with the baby). The head of the agency who runs the meeting was sick, and the Early Intervention coordinator went to the wrong location so she didn't show up. That was a really awkward and awful meeting.
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