I was wracking my brain, trying to find one thing I regret having done in regard to fostering/adopting/etc.
There isn't anything.
- Deciding to adopt as a first choice
- Deciding to do fostercare instead of private adoption
- Deciding to take temporary foster babies
- Deciding to take "possible adopt" foster babies
- Deciding to treat Niblet as "our own"
- Deciding to start calling her by the name we'd give her if we adopted her
- Asking our family and friends to treat her as permanent, with the knowledge that she could be temporary
- Deciding to have kids at all
- All the other things that have happened that I didn't have control over, but could wish that they didn't happen all the same.
I'm a big proponent of "things happen for a reason". I'm not all that religious, but I am spiritual. I feel the bigger picture. If nothing else, the past 2 years have taught me more about "things happen for a reason" than I ever knew.
What this amounts to is that, as much as I want Niblet to stay with us forever and ever, it might not happen. And it will be okay if that happens. She will be okay. She will be safe. We will grieve and cry and curse and eat french fries and milkshakes for dinner for weeks, but we will recover. We will go on to the next step, we will move on with our lives, we will eventually have the family we are meant to have.
I don't think there's a "master plan", really, but I do think there are many paths that our lives can take and that all of them end up with us having children and being happy. I really do believe that.
I just wish I could find the branch of the current path that leads to Miss Cuteness sleeping through the night.