Tuesday, November 20, 2007

There's no end to the way the system can hurt a child

She's not with us. They sent her to another foster home.

And they won't tell us why.

They verified that we are NOT being investigated at all regarding the injuries, so that's a huge relief, but they won't tell us why they "changed their minds" and sent her to be with strangers when she should be with us.

We are hurting for her so much that I can't even begin to explain.

Our only consolation is that she is safe. That is huge. She hasn't been safe for a year, apparently, and now she is.

She just should be safe with us. And she's not.

If this doesn't get resolved by next week, we're going to the media. The system is so f*cked up, there needs to be huge changes. It's not just Niblet.

Stay tuned.


Yondalla said...

Do you think she isn't put with you so that the person who hurt her can't find her?

It's the only explanation I can think of...the whole thing is so horrible I can't ... anything

Tricia said...


FosterMommy said...

That's a good guess. They don't know where we live, but I suppose they could use the phone book...though that would be a stretch, really.

But, in reality, that can't be the reason. It would make too much sense, and if that was their M.O., then they wouldn't have said so easily yesterday that we would get her.

Yeah. No anythinging here, either.

Maerlowe said...


The levels of frakking absurdity never fail to astonish.

Amanda said...

I can't even believe they would send her to strangers when you were ready, willing, and able to take her.

So sorry.

Julie said...

I am just sick to my stomach about this! I just can't believe-it! It is a nightmare! You should have her! You need to go ahead and lawyer up- you are her safety- she needs you not more transition- bless her heart! I am sick

Kikilia said...

Can you petition the court for custody since you have a history with her?

poor baby

stupid f*cked up system. and they wonder why folks don't want to be foster parents or adopt from foster care

FosterMommy said...

We would have standing in court if we'd had her for a full year. We had her for a year MINUS 6 DAYS. If we have a lawyer, it may be possible to convince the judge to ignore those 6 days and give us standing.

We don't want to fight her uncle & aunt for her, if they're a really good placement. But if they don't check out, we're definitely going to court. Hopefully the lawyer will call us back. They very well may be going to court on Friday.

WhyMommy said...

Oh, I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry. I just came over here from fourplusfourequalsten, and this is awful news.

Peace and strength to you, and to Niblet.

Anonymous said...

It's every foster parents' worst nightmare come true. I'm very sorry. Please make sure that if/when you go to the press, you are controlling the situation. You just know they're going to throw the "were being investigated for child abuse" at you. God damn.

art-sweet said...

Oh CRAP. This is just frickin' unbelievable. Please let us if we can help at all... squeak watching, etc. etc.

Bastards. Bastards. Bastards.

Jude said...

That is just W-R-O-N-G on so many levels. I am so very sorry... for all of you. :(

Robin said...

This is terrifying. I am so sorry and am keeping you all in my prayers.

Lisa said...

As a former foster child, my thanks goes out to foster parents who recognize the capabilities and potential of children in your care -- and are courageous enough to fight for them to receive support and services.

Please tell me about your experiences in advocating for foster children:

1.) Examples of when it has been successful
2.) Roadblocks when it hasn't
3.) Techniques that you have found to be most effective

Your insights will be used in a 2008 conference to 'train the trainers' of every county foster parent and social worker in my state. The information that you share can be anonymous.

Looking forward to hearing from you...


Lisa said...

PS - and, on a personal note, please let me know if I can support you with your specific situation.

qUeEn oF tHe cAstLe said...

I'm SO sorry... :*(

Cookie's Mom said...

I am so sorry to hear about this. It is so wrong that it was just fine for you to be her parents for just shy of a year, but aren't right for her now. My heart breaks for her and how frightened she must be. I wish she could tell everyone what has been happening to her. I wish you had more legal rights. This just hurts. I feel for you, I really do.

Anonymous said...

Hope things are looking out for the better and that Niblet is safe.

Good luck.

Chromesthesia said...

I'm sorry. I want the system to be reformed NOW.