Monday, December 11, 2006

The good, the bad, and the ugly.

We called to confirm, and were able to see Niblet this weekend and for an overnight. She had a great time. We had a great time. She gave a big squeal of delight when she saw us come to pick her up, which always makes me feel good. Her parents seemed pretty happy to get a break, as well - gee, Niblet, a handful? Never! :)

She's still doing really well, overall. Her babbling is different everytime we see her, and I can only assume that's a good thing. Practicing different sounds and all that. She still uses the signs that we taught her and I assume she uses them with her family, because I doubt she saves it all up for us. She's 18 months old, so everything is "MORE!" Her parents still haven't sent her with a change of clothes, so we had to send her back in her dirty things, but that's not so horrible. They probably change her when she gets home, anyway. We did have to send her with a fresh undershirt, because she had a blowout in her diaper and we didn't have time to run a load of laundry - ick!

The only thing we've slightly worried about is that she seems to be losing weight. It's very, very possible that she's just in a growth spurt and she's gotten taller, and she just hasn't plumped out again. She's very thin naturally and she eats constantly, so it's probably really hard to keep her fed enough to accommodate a big growth spurt without getting a thin time. Or she's just not getting enough to eat.
Fortunately, she has a doctor's appointment today. Hopefully they have her old records so they can see if her growth curve is healthy. Her parents are caring towards her, so I'm sure they're not feeding her too little on purpose or anything like that. The doctor will tell them to feed her more, and hopefully give her another prescription for vitamins, and she'll be fine.
She also drank 12 ounces of water from a sippy cup in the first hour we had her at our house...and didn't pee until 7 hours later...but overnight she had a hugely wet diaper, so she's not dangerously dehydrated. And it's not something we can really talk to her parents about, so that's that. I'm sure they give her juice and water and milk. It's just possible that she had salty food for breakfast before we picked her up. Or didn't have a bottle overnight. Or any number of things.

It's just very hard to not be in control. While we had her, we filled her up with as much food as she wanted, we gave her tons of liquids, and we made sure her food was high in good fats. Less than 24 hours of that isn't going to be enough if she's lacking, but it's better than nothing and all we can do.

To top it off, she wasn't particularly excited to see her dad when we dropped her off. She fussed at our leaving and I gave her a final kiss and left. She was fine, but obviously wasn't ready to go back home. It's really hard to know that she's still very bonded to us. We could take her back permanently and she probably wouldn't be very upset about it at all. It also didn't help that she decided that I was the one who wasn't allowed to leave her sight this time. Fostermama was great and wonderful, but it was okay if she left the room. If I left the room and was caught doing so, she cried at me until I brought her with me. So she watched me pee, went with me to fetch things, etc, even though fostermama was available to play with her. It's sweet and loving, but it doesn't make it any easier to bring her back home to her family.

So hopefully we'll get back on an every-week visiting schedule. And hopefully we'll be able to schedule around Christmas and New Year's. Though we'd certainly be happy to take her for New Year's. We're not the partying types, and often have trouble staying up until midnight, so it probably would be more fun to have Niblet over and go to bed early.

It's hard not to assume a future with Niblet, in some way or another. But, really, losing her to begin with is the worst disappointment I could have ever had, so if I plan for things that don't end up happening, it's not like I could feel any worse. That's the spirit, right?


Anonymous said...

Well, I'm glad you got to see her at least!! I have to agree that it couldn't get more disappointing, however chronic lower level disappointments might suck, too.

Good luck.

Julie said...

So glad you had a great visit! I am sure it is tough to return her and to see the weight loss and not be in control of it all! argh! I am sure though with the growth it is tough to keep up! I hope the doctor keeps a close eye on her! Hang in there and just soak her up!

Co said...

It must be such a mixture of emotions to see her.

I'm sure the Nibster isn't being as well fed now as when she was with you. However, my child (if I ever have one) will probably not be as well fed as yours either. You guys are just so knowledgeable about nutrition compared to the average bear. Still, I can imagine how hard it must be not to be in control when it comes to stuff like that. And how hard it must be if you know that her dad has different ideas of what is healthful than you do, or if he just doesn't think about it much at all.

I think it's cool that she's still signing. :)

fostermama said...

Yeah, mixture of emotions, that's hitting the nail on the head, definitely.

We're not at all concerned about her being fed different types of foods than when she was with us. I was actually much much less bothered by seeing her with a bag of cheese doodles at 9am when we picked her up for a visit last month than I would've expected myself to be. Her dad seemed excited when his visits were increasing and her ability to eat more foods was also increasing, because he "couldn't wait to get some soul food into her." This made me very happy to hear, actually, because it meant he was taking an interest in her and in what to feed her. Sounded like something a *parent* would say, ya know?

And will you stop saying "if" about you having a kid!? You both do that. You will have a child. This is not a question. How, when, sure, those are up for grabs. But, really, have no doubt that you WILL have a child. Ok? :)